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The Nuthouse News

December 20, 2016         millionth edition                  $2.50

Julia Cleans Room& Other Miracles of 2016

A floor was discovered under piles of clothes and debris last month in Julia’s room. The shocking discovery occurred  after several Hefty trash bags were hauled away in a garbage truck. The floor appears to be carpeted.

In other miracles, Peaches was spotted darting into the kitchen, and this alleged 25-foot sprint might be the biggest miracle of all. Fear appears to be the motive. Flies can be terrifying!Food and fear are two of the only motivators that encourage voluntary motion in Peaches. Peaches much prefers to lie on her back completely inert, receiving belly rubs as she demonstrated on the couch recently.

Julia and Friends Go to Homecoming Dance

Julia, Kaylee, Emily, Tia (AKA BRO) and Sarah looked stunning for their Homecoming Dance in October. They are all juniors at Burrell High School. Julia was escorted to the dance with a date named Blake from Plum. They all had a great time.

"Don't be farting on me all night."

FUNNY FUNNY NOISES
Shamus and Kirsten had moved from Pittsburgh one year and a fairly sizable group of us visited them for a couple of days. Buffy, my mother, Abbie, and Kirsten's mom, Elsie were there and it was bedtime.

The victim is Kirsten's mother Elsie Miller- sitting next to Abbie, the intended target.

 Buff was sharing a bed with Elsie, but there was some confusion and she thought she was sharing a bed with her sister Abbie. So she supposedly said, "DON'T BE FARTING ON ME ALL NIGHT." What is Elsie supposed to say at that point?

Here are two Mudie sisters Abbie and Buffy.

This incident took place when Jan was living in Florida. In those days, long-distance calls were expensive and I didn't call her unless something was extremely important. Well, I deemed this story "extremely important" and I had to call Jan. We laughed and laughed about this. One of us (Mom) is still cracking up at it!






PEEING OFF THE PORCH
The other thing that cracked up the Mudie sisters for their entire lives was the house on Mt. Troy Road they lived on for one year. Mom might have been 9 and Buff was 10 and apparently they peed off the porch and it was FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY. Mom still cracks up when I mention peeing off the porch! 

Nobody can explain WHY this has cracked them up. Personally, I don't want to think about it.


"SOME DIRTY BASTARD STOLE MY UNDERWEAR"


Another "crack me up" story the Mudie sisters enjoyed forever was an interesting girl who went by the name Virgie. She worked with them at a tobacco farm in Connecticut. This crazy girl accused people of stealing her underwear, as if anyone would do that. "Some dirty bastard stole my underwear!"  

Bob's BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

May 23, 2013      STORY TIME....Yes, today is my birthday. My favorite b-day celebration ever? Funny you should ask. Keg party at Heritage Park at 16? Fights n debauchery at the bar at 21? Waking up in the county jail at 26? None even compare to 1998. 

It's no secret things were a mess for me then. I came home from work with no plans at all. There was an excited message on my answering machine (remember those?) from Danielle to call right away. This darling voice said to come get her as she had big plans for the day. I picked her up and she 

Danielle and her Daddy

instructed me to drive to the park (with Gus n Ginger, Gus being the Pit Bull n Ginger being the Pit/Boxer mix) and she couldn't wait to show me what she planned. If my memory serves me right, first we played on the swings, then the slide, then follow the leader. She would lead me from one thing to
the next with her contagious smile saying things like, 

"Ok, next we're gonna play LEAP FROG!!" 

"Isn't this the best birthday you ever had Daddy!?" We played tag, rolled down a hill and laughed as we couldn't walk from being dizzy. At some point it dawned on me that this was what we often did together and in her mind, it was what I always wanted to do. She probably thought that when I went out with friends, this was our choice of activity. We played "house," we ran for no reason at all, laughing the whole time. Then when night was coming, she asked, 

"Was that the best birthday you ever had?" 

Of course I said yes!! And I meant it!! She was so happy with herself for showing me so much fun!! Today, her and I are going out driving after work. Yes, she is learning to drive, and doing great!! I plan on enjoying this evening, but nothing quite seems to compare to our fun activities she planned for me at the park on May 23, 1998. (Danielle was 3 at the time.)